Children's Health and Wellness

Helping a Friend with an Addiction

When a friend shows signs of abusing alcohol or other drugs, it is hard to know what to do or say.

  • Drug abuse refers to a deliberate decision to use alcohol, an illegal drug, or a medication in an unsafe way. Drug abuse can lead to addiction.

  • Addiction means losing control over whether you are going to use the drug, or losing insight into knowing how, or when, to stop.

Addiction begins with drug abuse. Drugs not only interfere with normal brain functioning, but they also have a long-term effect on the brain. At some point, changes occur in the brain that can turn drug abuse into addiction.

Addiction can be physical, psychological, or both.

  • With a physical addiction, a person's body becomes dependent on the drug. It needs more and more of it to get the same effect. When the person stops using the drug, he or she may develop withdrawal symptoms.

  • With a psychological addiction, a person's mind craves the feeling that the drug gives or feels emotionally awful when he or she stops using the drug. The person can be overcome by the desire to get more of the drug.

Research has shown that addiction is a brain disorder, and it is just as life-threatening or more so than heart disease, diabetes, or emphysema. The behavior and social symptoms of addiction can hurt family, friends, or coworkers. Yet you may be in the best position to help the addict recognize the need to seek treatment. Most people who are in recovery say they got help because a friend or relative was honest with them about their drinking and other drug use.

Making the decision to help

When deciding whether to speak to your friend, you may have some concerns, such as:

  • Fear or mixed feeling about getting involved in someone else's affairs. Just remember, addiction to alcohol or other drugs is a leading cause of death.

  • You believe someone else will say something. But, it's important not to wait for someone else to step up.

  • You may feel hurt by past actions or behaviors of the person with addiction so it is important to take responsibility for your feelings, too.

It's also important to have an idea about the amount of alcohol or drug abuse. Think through how it is affecting him or her as well as others. If your friend has alcohol- or drug-related problems, he or she needs help.

Psychological symptoms

When a person has a psychological or emotional craving for a drug, you may see these symptoms:

  • Sees drugs as the solution, not the problem

  • Takes the drug in larger amounts or over a longer period

  • Is preoccupied with getting drugs

  • Steals or sells possessions to buy drugs

  • Feels anxious, irritable, depressed

  • Withdrawn

  • Has lost interest in school, work, or hobbies

  • Socializes with others who abuse drugs

  • Has mood swings

  • Has problems at work and at home

  • Has difficulty with relationships

  • Engages in dangerous behavior like driving while drunk

Physical symptoms

When a person’s body becomes dependent on a drug, you may see some of the following symptoms:

  • Sleeping problems

  • Needs more drugs for the same effect

  • Weight loss or weight gain

  • Has physical withdrawal symptoms when not taking the drug

How to talk

The following can help you talk with your friend:

  • Do not try to talk when your friend is drunk or high. It is also a good idea to meet in a neutral place, but not at a bar or any place else that serves alcohol.

  • Talk about the effect your friend's drinking or drug use has on whatever the person cares about most like career or children. Your friend may not be concerned about his or her situation, but may care deeply for the children and what the problem may be doing to them.

  • Become aware of treatment or recovery resources available in your community. Find the local phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). Learn what treatment resources are available in your area by calling your state's Office of Substance Abuse Services or searching the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's treatment locator.

  • If your friend does not want to go to AA or NA, talk with other people who know and care about your friend to see if they have other ideas.


Print Source: Family and Peer Interventions for Adults: Past Approaches and Future Directions. Fernandez, A. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors. 2006, is. 2, ed. 20, pp. 207-13.
Print Source: Vitality Drug Free 2003
Online Source: substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Treatment Locator
Online Source: National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependencies. Helping a Family Member or Friend
Online Source: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Alcohol and Drug Abuse Happens in the Best of Families
Online Source: National Institute on Drug Abuse. Drugs, Brains, and Behavior. The Science of Addiction
Online Source: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Overview of alcohol consumption
Author: Floria, Barbara
Online Editor: Geller, Arlene
Online Medical Reviewer: Holloway, Beth, RN, M.Ed.
Date Last Reviewed: 2/3/2015
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